Gangsta

This kid has got it all.  The chain.  The gang sign.  The hat. The du rag.  The tiny nipples.  The four chins. 

Some very lucky lady got this sexted to her on an otherwise boring Tuesday night.  The next day in school, she rubbed his junk on the back of the bus because she can't get enough of this bad boy.  Play on playa.  You got the world by the balls.  It's gonna be a wild ride for ya.

PS-  I think it is time we stop giving our kids in this country so much high fructose corn syrup.  They would honestly look and be healthier if they picked up a nice nicotine habbit.

Fake Your Son's Cancer To Get Paid. Sign This Lady Up

Detroit Free Press-  The Macomb County mother who faked her son’s cancer to cash in more than $10,000 in donations will spend a year in a jail and has temporarily lost custody of her son.

Carol Schnuphase, 47, was sentenced today in the Macomb County Circuit Court to three years of probation, one to be spent in the Macomb County Jail, and six months of house arrest on a tether after her release. Immediately after her sentencing she ceded custody of 13-year-old Christopher to the state in a separate hearing. The 13-year-old has been in foster care since June.

Macomb County Circuit Court Judge Richard Caretti, who said prison would have been a better option, gave her credit for 179 days served and ordered her to pay restitution.

“Your conduct was reprehensible,” Caretti said. “To tell a vulnerable, defenseless young boy that he was dying of cancer was beyond the realm of comprehension.”

This lady seems to be the worst person in the world.  This judge just through the book at her, huh?  A whole year in jail.  Motherfuckin retards do that in their sleep.  Literally.  This is the kind of person who should be locked up and throw away the key.  Look at her.  What is this bitch bringing to the table?  NOTHINGGGGG.  

I don't have kids, but when I do I definitely want to make money off them like this chick.  I'll do it the regular American way, by playing catch with him or gettin him a hockey stick.  I won't give him a basketball because chances are he won't be a 6'8 black kid with a sweet mid-range game.  I don't want to crush them mentally though, like this kid.  If you can't trust momma, you can't trust noone.  Who knew the unemployment crisis in Michigan was so bad that you gotta go and pimp your 13-year-old out as a cancer patient. 

You think this bitch was crazy enough to shave her poor kid's head and feed him only crackers so he looked all frail?  I bet she was.  Lock this cocksucker up for life, Mr. Judge.  Do us all a favor.

Dude Looks Like That Kid In That Movie With Cher

Vs.



It's a close one here, but Im gonna go with the red head on this one.  His brains probably don't look like the scrambled eggs that Michael J. Fox makes every morning.

Charge Your IPhone... With Your Motherfuckin Heart

-  The Week- In the future, dancing the night away may be just as good a way to charge your iPhone as plugging it into a traditional three-pronged outlet. That's because scientists have devised a way to power handheld electronic devices simply by flexing a tiny stack of microchips — something that could be achieved through the movement of a human body part or organ. Soon, they theorize, those chips could be implanted in your body, and your pumping heart could act as an effective battery.


Hold the fuckin phone for a second here.  People charging their own phones with their heartbeats.  Sounds like duracell and that energizer bunny are going out of business.  People will be forced to get up off their disgusting fat asses because that is the only way their precious iphone will stay charged.  Things are looking on the up and up.  Keep up the good work scientists. 

Who the fuck am I kidding?  Everyone knows some fat fuck who dare not do anything to strenuous is going to have this chip inserted in his golden retriever.  Make the fuckin dog who doesn't know any better chase frisbies for ten hours a day.  People will just be playing angry birds on their giant ipad and every thirty seconds the dog comes back with the ball.  The future looks like a wild place. 

My main question is, if you put the microchips in your body and your heart gets them to charge your phone...  Where does your phone start and you, yourself end?  It's a dangerous world we are about to create.  I just hope I don't die of testicular cancer or a car crash before I can see it all unfold.  A shark attack I would be cool with.  My last moment battling a 10 ft Great White.  Chalk that up as a life experience.

Buy A Satellite Dish, Get A Gun... For FREE!!!!

The story: A Radio Shack Super Store in Montana has come up with a novel way to sell Dish Network satellite service: It's offering new customers a free gun. Once buyers sign a contract and set up an installation date, they get a certificate good for a Hi Point 380 pistol or a 20-gauge shotgun at the nearby Frontier Guns & Ammo store. Steve Strand, owner of the Radio Shack in question, says that, although Dish Network was "a little nervous" about the promotion, business has tripled since it began and he's only fielded one customer complaint. He's not giving guns to felons — background checks prevent that — and customers can opt for a $50 Pizza Hut gift certificate instead.



First of all, what kinda sick fucks still are purchasing satellite dishes?  The only person I know with one is my 76-year-old immigrant uncle.  Immigrants are always doing the darndest things, like assimilating to our culture with the purchases of satellite dishes.  Well out in Montana, its dishes and free guns. 

The dish network is bringing in business with shotguns. This is how they should win the abortion debate in these states.  Get a shotgun with every abortion.  This way everyone wins.  The NRA.  Slutty teenagers.  Girls who got raped by a family member or might die from complications from the pregnancy.  It's truly a win, win. 

I personally would totally take the $50 gift card to the one Pizza Hut in Montana and eat me some cheese filled crust.  But that's just me, and I am definitely not from Montana.   That black guy shooting a shotgun in the picture definitely isn't from Montana either.  That's ironic, and irony is fucking funny to me.

Pat Summitt Is Not A Player's Coach To Say The Least

This woman above looks like a cat hissing at the stray that keeps coming into her territory.  Bitch needs to calm down.  Her team lost last night to a two seed and she told the press she had nothing nice to say to her team after the loss.  Can't you just say, "it was a good run, we'll get them next year.?"

Ms. Summitt here thinks her players who are college players didn't give it their all or some shit.  They wanted to get to the Final Four just as much as you, but they arn't quite the freak you are.  Take a vacation.  Gain some perspective lady.  You make Bill Bellichick look like Tommy Chong.  I'm glad I won't have to see this snarling beast on ESPN when I'm looking to watch Sportscenter and get hit in the face with the adrenaline rush that is Women's hoops. 

PS-  Not A Lesbian.  Crazy.   Not that there is anything wrong with that.

That's An Ace

Volleyball always was my favorite sport.

VCU Is Everbody's Baby

They're going to the Final Four.  They got hot chicks dancing in tiny black shirts dancing for them.  VCU has truly got it all going for them right now.  Keep laying money on them all the way to the championship.  Your bookie wont appreciate it, but fuck him.

Guy Got Stoned, Mauled By Grizzly

The story: The Montana Supreme Court this week decided that a nature park worker who was mauled by a grizzly bear in 2007 should get workers' compensation — even though he was high on marijuana at the time. The man, Brock Hopkins, admitted he smoked a joint before deciding to feed the animals at Great Bear Adventures, a privately run park where black bears and grizzlies roam outdoors. While Hopkins was in the bear enclosure, a grizzly named Red attacked and severely injured him. His initial workers' compensation claim was denied. The owner of the park, Russ Kilpatrick, said Hopkins doesn't even really work there, but was more of a helper he gave money to "out of his heart." The state Supreme Court disagreed, saying Hopkins was hurt while doing work for Kilpatrick, so he deserved to be compensated for his injuries. Hopkins' altered state, the court said, didn't matter, because grizzlies are "equal-opportunity maulers."

Let's chalk one up here for common sense.  I never knew that the Montana Supreme Court had such a level head on it's shoulders.  If you smoke a joint and a bear tries to eat you, you should get compensated.  You should get a gold fucking medal.  Got high and survived a grizzly attack.  I'm pretty sure that is why they invented the circus.  Shit like that is entertainment gold.  Common Sense will win outright everytime, remember that when you start to get irrational.

Latin Ass To Your Dome

'Nuff Said.

Sammy Hagar Abducted By Aliens



"They were plugged into me. It was a download situation ... Or, they uploaded something from my brain, like an experiment."

Sammy Hagar actually said that quote above.  Aliens do not give a fuck about downloading a 2nd string rock stars brain.  Aliens are interested in Obama and the Bill Nye, the science guy.  Hagar has got to step up his lies.  Im on to this motherfucker.

The King Of Kong

If anyone hasn't seen the 2007 documentary King of Kong, then you have deprived yourself of ninety minutes of entertainment gold.  Last week they had the King of Kong championship and the good guy and bad guy from the documentary squared off.  One came in second, the bad guy, and the other came in fuckin 7th.  Seriously that's like making a documentary about the Milwaukee Bucks and Detroit Pistons.  I'm pretty sure the winner and the real King of Kong is an asian dude.  Finally, the universe is back in order.

Odd Future Bringin The Freakshow

These guys are takin the hip-hop world over right now.  That one guy sounds like method man.  And they sound more like korn than wiz khalifa.  Shit is wild. 

Black Tennis Booty In Your Face

That is some big booty right up in your face.  For a video game, this has got to be the greatest commercial of all time. All that moaning chicks do when they are playing makes red-blooded males think about fucking them anyways.  2K Sports just stepped it up a level and dressed up Serena Williams in the finest stripper gear and put her ass on center stage.  In the words of the Playststation 3 guy, "Well played, 2KSports, well played."

Thank God these guys didn't go the cheap route and hire her sister, Vanessa.

ACC vs. SEC Matchup

VS.

The guy from Kentucky may have got a shinier flow, but it's gonna take more than that to topple the Champ from Annapolis, or wherever the campus is in Maryland.

How Many Drug Baggies Are In AssHoles And Vaginas Right Now?

DeadSpin.com- This is Karin Mackaliunas of Scranton, Pennsylvania. Police found — upon searching her after finding a connection with a minor burglary — 54 bags of heroin, cash, empty bags and assorted sundry pills in her vagina.


This story has got me thinking.  I have seen about three or four of these stories come across my desk in the last week.  They are on smut websites, CNN.com, and your local 10 o'clock news.  Shit is literally everywhere.  So it got me thinking, how many bags of drugs are shoved up people's intestines or their vagina right now?  Like is there over a thousand bags of heroin up vaginas and another 1500 up anuses.  Woman must be a better commodity because they have more holes to put drugs up.  There is an epidemic out there in this country.  Drugs are finding there way up people's asses at an alarming rate.  We need to get Michelle Obama on the case. 

If any of you see bags of heroin or any other drug for that matter, leave your ass hole and pussy out of it.  Nobody likes their drugs stankin' like crackhead snatch.

Travolta = Pure Class

Apparently this video is "cringe-worthy."  I just don't see it.  What are the employee's of this airline big problem anyhow?  Is it the bad jokes?  Just ask the Situation how hard it is to write a joke.  (Do you capitalize the, "The," in "The Situation?)  Shit is no joke.  i think people should appreciate what upper management is trying to do for them.  Ya, you may have no more dental coverage, but atleast you got a celebrity that has appeared in such recent classics as "Wild Hogs" to tell you how to be safe on an aircraft.  Shit's on the up and up.


Guatemalan Prez Divorces Wife So She Can Become President

 TIME-  Getting a divorce so your wife can become president? That's love.
Guatemala's president, Alvaro Colom is divorcing his wife, Sandra Torres, so that she can run for Guatemala's head seat.
In Guatemala, the constitution forbids close relatives (and, NewsFeed is assuming, spouses) of the president from being able to succeed him.
Colom's wife said she would be the governing party candidate later this year. Torres has apparently played a large role bind the scenes during her husband's presidency. Otto Perez Molina, her rival, accused the two of defrauding the system.
The Guatemalan Constitutional Court will most likely decide if the issue is contested.


Read more: http://newsfeed.time.com/2011/03/22/guatemalan-president-divorces-wife-so-she-can-run-next/#ixzz1HNK9ycJH

 

 

 

The sanctity of marriage is not what it used to be.  The president must have loved when his wife came up to him with this idea.  So you are telling me that the wife wants to be president, but the only legal way for that to happen is if she divorces the president.  Those are some great laws down there in South America.  They should just make it if a woman wants a promotion at all, then she should have divorce their husband.  Once womankind achieves economic independance from us, you can pretty much write off the male race as we know it.  It'll be a world of sperm banks and dildo parties.  And there ain't gonna be any room for us dick-swinging neanderthals.

Tony Mazz Quote of the Day

"Nothing gets a Louisville Slugger growing in my pants like a Stephen Gostowski touchback through the back of the endzone."

One Big Holiday

This song I picked has been screaming to me lately.  The weather is turning, the flowers will bloom and soon the winter will be a distant memory.  The cold and darkness will be replaced with warm sunshine hitting you just right.  This song represents all that to me and much much more.  Truly a classic.

If that song isn't quite right for your frame of mind, here is another that I've been listening to by the one and only Jim James.  It is a really pretty song.  I'm a sucker for folk music and this song Jim James fucking nails it.  So, however you're feeling, these two songs can carry right into a glorious weekend of rainbows and popsicles.



Does Wonder Woman Turn You On?

Big Super hero day over here on the blog.  First Kevin Costner and Diane Lane raising Superman and now this chick is the new Wonderwoman.  I guess she was a hottie on "Friday Night Lights."  I dont know if I caught a little bit of the gay today, but she is not doing for me.  Ahh, who am I kidding, I'd love to fuck this chick.  So does she turn you on or what?

This Lady Hit The Police With Her Dildo.

GURNEE, Ill., March 18 (UPI) -- An Illinois woman accused of striking a police officer with a sex toy pleaded guilty to drunken driving and theft charges.

Carolee Bildsten, 57, was sentenced to six months of periodic imprisonment and 30 months of probation after pleading guilty Monday in a Lake County court to felony aggravated driving under the influence and a misdemeanor count of theft, the Waukegan News Sun reported Thursday.

Prosecutors said Bildsten, who was pulled over and charged with driving under the influence Sept. 5, faced the theft charge due to a separate incident in which she left a Joe's Crab Shack restaurant without paying her bill. She was found by a Gurnee police officer and given a ride home, where she claimed to have money for the restaurant bill, and upon arriving attacked the officer with "a clear, rigid, feminine pleasure device," a police report said.

This lady sat in the cop car getting a ride home just plotting her revenge on the man who arrested her.  The best that she could come up with was beating him with her "clear, rigid, feminine pleasure device."  Now that is how you get that motherfucker back.  Get that 57-year old pussy stank all over his uniform.  You can't just take a bath in tomato juice and the smell goes away.  That shit lingers.  At first glance you might think this bitch is dumb, only wacked the cop a few times with a dildo.  But she stained him for life.  He will never be the same.  Being beaten by a crackhead with her personal pleasure device scars you emotionally. 

Any lady that has a dildo on her at all times should be put into a mental institution.  Guys who jerk off all the time are ostracized by society.  These dildo-wielding sluts are celebrated.  With their sex toy parties and the social acceptability of the dildo.  Your still just masterbating like Sticky Fingers McGee sittin under the freeway.  Just because you have a battery powered device to get you off doesn't make you any better.

On a little side note, I will absolutely be calling my penis a rigid, feminine pleasure device all weekend.  Just waitin for the bitches to hop on.

Kevin Costner is Superman's Daddy

USA TODAY- It's official: Warner Bros. Pictures and Legendary Pictures announced Thursday that Kevin Costner will play Jonathan Kent, the father who raises Clark Kent as his own son, reports USA TODAY's Scott Bowles.
"Kevin will be able to communicate the quiet strength of this rural American man who raised the greatest super hero of all time," said director Zack Snyder in a statement.
Costner will star alongside Diane Lane, who plays his wife, Martha. "It's going to be a wild ride," Lane told USA WEEKEND earlier this week. Henry Cavill will play the new Clark Kent/Superman.




Diane Lane is one of me all-time personal favorites.  Sexy as fuck when she cheats on Richard Gere with her young hot latin lover.  Kevin Costner, on the other hand, is no superman's daddy.  Somehow the director is going to have to work in a baseball scene in the Superman movie.  It's written into all Costner movie contract's he gets to show off his girly arm atleast ten minutes a movie.  Man has made more baseball movies than the amount of sluts Tiger Woods fucked.  So Superman is a British and his father is Kevin Costner.  I thought so much more highly of him before.

Fuckin Sluttin it up like you read about.

How's That Hangover?

Did you do one too many car-bombs last night?  Is there a leprechaun tap dancing on your brain right now?  Were you like Bart Simpson here, and fell asleep in your cheerios?  This is not an easy day to get through.  People drank green beer out of giant mugs for a solid 18-hours yesterday.  St. Patrick's day starts early and rolls right on through to March 18th.  It is an unstoppable force.  There is no controlling it.  An alcoholic tsumani.  Now everyone is feeling the effects.  Whether it was the 27 pints of guinness you were able ot put down throughout the day or the fact you just impregnated a girl you barely know last night, the fact is you're gonna have to fight through it.  Remember, the weekend starts in six hours.  You can do it.  After yesterday, you can do anything.



The Darkness Re-Unites!

BBC -  Rock band The Darkness have reformed after breaking up in 2006 and will play the Download festival in June with a new album due later this year.


"I believe in a thing called love, just step into the rhythm of my heart."  That line is one of my favorite lines by a rock band of all time.   Great party song.  Great Drinking Song.  Just a great song.  Let's hope they keep bringing the fire.

Name This Lady

Let's who see can name this lady.  She is kind of a big shot in this world.  What a beautiful smile, though, huh?  And a wonderful haircut.  She's just posing with her coffee mug, making all the guys go crazy.  So again, let's name this lady.  First one to get it, get's one of my old BEAT LA T- Shirt.

Does This Look Like a VP That Sexts Little Boys At His School?

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania– A former Vice Principal of Pennbrook Middle School is charged with of corrupting a minor and cocaine possession after he was caught sending sexually lewd messages to teenage students.
Charles Daniel Hurst, 37, even took one 13-year-old student on long distance trips after befriending his parents; the student told prosecutors that Hurst encouraged him to masturbate and paid him to divulge the info.

I would like to go ahead and answer the question I posed above.  YES.  This is the face of a gay, sexting vice principal.  This gay pedophile is gonna do his thing and I would expect nothing less from a shithead like this.  But how about these dumbass parents?  Letting your 13-year-old go on a long trip with a single VP who rocks A Justin Bieber Haircut?  That's the first fuckin thing in the parenting handbook.  Don't give your kids to creepy adults who want to fuck them.  If you can't even follow that rule, I don't think your kids are safe in your hands.

Happy Holiday

This video actually depicts quite accurately how I felt when I woke up this morning.  The unfortunate situation that we call "work" got in the way between me and drinking guinness.  The fucking real world sucks.

Laying in bed around 8:00 this morning, I ran through the perfect scenario for today.  The weather would be a cool and sunny 62 degrees and the grass would be nice and dry.  Around noon time you would go to a cookout with 40 to 50 or your closest friends and proceed to drink in the sunshine for the first time in 6 months.  Drinking outside is a way better pasttime than drinking inside.  Maybe my dream will come true next year.

Where The Gold At??? I Want The Gold

Happy St. Patricks Day

Greatest Leprechaun Video Of All Time.  So in honor of your irish heritage or just in honor of the public education system in the creighton neighborhood of mobile, alabama, go out and get drunk. 

Banging Whores On The Reg

MILAN - Italian Premier Silvio Berlusconi paid for sex with an underaged Moroccan teen 13 times at his villa near Milan, prosecutors said in a document filed on Tuesday seeking indictments against three aides for allegedly soliciting prostitutes for the Italian leader.
The seven-page document alleges that the sex-fuelled parties started with dinner, progressed to erotic "bunga bunga" dancing involving the Premier, and culminated with Mr Berlusconi's choice of a sex partner, or partners.
Prosecutors have closed the investigation and are seeking indictments against the three aides, whom they accuse of identifying 33 possible sex partners for Mr Berlusconi and informing them of payment and other compensation "that they would have received for their sexual availability".


 
  Yes, that man right there fucked that girl right there.  He fucked her hard, and good.  He became a man that day.

  This man puts Hugh Hefner to shame.   Think of this line, " seven-page document alleges that the sex-fuelled parties started with dinner, progressed to erotic "bunga bunga" dancing involving the Premier, and culminated with Mr Berlusconi's choice of a sex partner, or partners."  Does that not sound like the greatest night of your entire life.  You could live a hundred years and never quite experience that.  Maybe two sloppy sluts sucked your dick once, but nobody was doing the "bunga, bunga."  This fuckin Italian guy does it on Thursday. 

Second Half Unders.

I love all of you guys.  You make me smile.  I want you all to make money this month.  Bet on all the unders for the second half.  That is how you will get paid.  Duke Blue Devils and their opponent will make a mistake coming down the stretch.  A bunch of 18, 19, 20, year old are going to miss free throws, lay ups and make turnovers in tourney games.  Bet on that shit happening.  Its a fucking lock.

Regulate

Warren G and Nate Dogg got to regulate.

RIP Nate Dogg

BBC- US singer and rapper Nate Dogg has died at the age of 41, according to reports.

His friend and collaborator Snoop Dogg paid tribute on Twitter, while the Press-Telegram newspaper in his home town of Long Beach, California, cited an announcement from his family.
Nate Dogg, real name Nathaniel Hale, went to school with Snoop and sang on Warren G's hit Regulate. He also worked with Eminem, Dr Dre and Mark Ronson.
Other collaborators Ludacris and The Game also Tweeted messages in tribute.

 

On Twitter, Snoop described Nate Dogg as a "true legend of hip-hop and R&B", adding that he was "one of my best friends and a brother to me since 1986 when I was a sophomore at Poly High where we met".
Snoop, Nate and Warren G started their careers in a rap trio in Long Beach called 213 in the early 1990s.


This is a sad day for me.  Nate Dogg made some of the smoothest tracks known to mankind.  He supposedly had two stroke a while back and just didn't pull through.  Forty-one years old is just too damn young.  Here is some of his best work and this song should makes everyone's day a little sunnier.

"Ate a whole damn box of fruity pebbles in one day, and ain't got no job!"  Preach, grandpa, preach.

Goodell Frequents Revere Tanning

Those are some goggle tan lines Mr. Goodell.  The big bad commish in a inny bitty tanning bed.  Shit cracks me up for some reason.  These goggle tan lines have just reinforced my dislike of this man.  I never really knew why I hated him, I just did, but now it is clear.  He is a giant douche.  If your the commissioner of the NFL, don't you just fly to Cabo if you want a tan?  This guy had to use his 25% discount coupon at Revere Tanning it looks like.  Either way, this is not a good look Roger, not a good look at all.

Cocaine In Space

Miami (CNN) -- NASA's Inspector General's Office says an investigation is under way after a white powdery substance found at the Kennedy Space Center tested positive for cocaine.
"Law enforcement personnel field tested the substance, which indicated a positive test for cocaine," said Renee Juhans, an executive officer with the office.
"The substance is now at an accredited crime lab for further testing," she said.
Juhans said that 4.2 grams of a white powdery substance was found in a NASA facility March 7. She could not confirm where, at the Kennedy Space Center, the drug was found.

Hot Damn, there bringing cocaine to outer space.  Maybe the aliens will love our gift to the universe that is the powdery white substance.  In all seriousness, somebody was fuckin partying.  4.2 grams.  Shit that would make Charlie Sheen proud.  This is what NASA gets for having there space station in Miami.  It's just a part of the world where people do more coke.  Its sunny, there's beautiful women, there's a lot of coke coming through it. DUH.  Shit was bound to show up in the hallways of NASA.  It's just logic.  Sucks to drop 4 grams of coke at work.  I feel for the young lad who's gonna lose his job over this.  Kid was just trying to stay up late and figure out how to get to Mars, anyways.

Larry King Joining Daily Show?

  

A deal is in the works to  bring Larry King to the coming the Daily Show.  Jews have got a stranglehold on the comedy scene huh.  I think they are genuinely funnier than all other races of people.  I wonder if it has anything to do with them being an outsider literally everywhere they go.  They certainly have perspective.  Keep bringin the funny, and this dream team is certainly going to do just that.  This is almost as big when Hulk Hogan became Hollywood Hogan and then joined the motherfucking wolfpack.  Actually that was way bigger.  Rocked my world. 

PS-  I think they're going after the wrong Larry here.  Get Larry David on this show and watch your ratings soar past "Two and a half men."

Tony Hawk Is A Dog

Skateboarding legend Tony Hawk divorced his third wife, Lhotse Merriam, for his best friend and business partner Matt Goodman's wife, Cathy, the New York Post reported Tuesday citing sources.

Merriam found out about her action sports star husband's new relationship in December after she discovered a plane ticket for Cathy that Hawk had booked for her to join him in San Francisco -- despite his being lifelong friends with Matt Goodman.

Hawk filed for divorce in San Diego from Merriam on Feb. 11. They have one child together, Kadence Clover, and Hawk has three sons from two previous marriages.

"We remain deeply committed and loving parents to our daughter, and out of respect for that responsibility we ask that people honor our family's privacy during this important time of transition," the couple said in a statement at the time.

Well played Tony Hawk, well played.  If your the creator of quite possibly the greatest video game in the history of video games, then one pussy is just not gonna quench your appetite.  Plus, there's nothing more desirable than your best friend's wife of twenty years who has two kids.  That's what it is all about.  This motherfucker could take all his video game money and buy fifty 20-year-old with tight pussies to be his wives.  But he went and fucked his buddy and business partner's wife like it was no big thing.  The man is a god I guess.  And it is all his for the taking.

This Malden Man Stabbed His Husband. WHAAATTT???

MALDEN, Mass. -- Murder charges have been filed in connection with a deadly stabbing in Malden.
41-year-old Michael Losee was arraigned Thursday on first degree murder charges.
He was ordered held without bail until next month's court appearance.
Investigators said Losee stabbed his partner inside their home Wednesday on Clarendon Street.
The suspect allegedly then called a friend and admitted to the murder.
Losee turned himself in to police Wednesday night.



This is exactly the type of headlines that gays across the country cringe at.  Massachusetts was the first to let them marry, so it is only logical that we are the first to have a gay domestic murder.  This guy is setting back an entire movement.  Hopefully, everyone realizes the "crazy gene" doesn't care if your straight, gay, black, yellow, alien, whatever.  That shit will manifest itself at some point and if that means stabbing your gay husband to death, I guess that's what it means.

Running Over Hubby With the Kids In the Van

HOLLY SPRINGS (WTVD) -- A Holly Springs mother faces charges after police say she ran over her husband with her children in the car.

According to police, Paul Dabney allegedly assaulted one of the children and his wife Saturday during a domestic argument.
That's when they say Kaci Jo Dabney got in the car to leave.
But her husband reportedly jumped on the hood and she drove forward pinning him between the vehicle and a tree.
Paul Dabney suffered a broken leg and bruises. He's charged with felony strangulation, assault on a child under 12, and child abuse.
Kaci Jo Dabney is charged with assault with a deadly weapon with intent to kill and child abuse.

This is just another case that proves my theory true.  My theory is that humans have become so advanced that we no longer do things the "Natural" way.  Natural selection was the way that species moved forward and adapted.  We are entering a phase of "Un-natural Selection,"  which is what I like to call it.  We got people having kids that have no business doing so.  All the qualified people don't reproduce at the same rate, so we are filling the world with dumbasses and crackheads.  And then the dumbasses have kids with each other and try to murder each other in front of their own kids.  Idiots and Savages.  Kid's don't have a shot. 

PS-  If your gonna run over your kid's dad, can you atleast leave the kids at the sitter's house while you do it?

Happy Pi Day

It's a big day for geeks and mathletes across the world.  The thing about math is it's a universal language.  It brings Muslims and Christians together.  I wonder who was better at math, Jesus or Muhhamed?  These are the questions I wrestle with while the rest of you go on with your daily lives.  I honestly think they were about equal intelligence, but Buddha would blow them both away in Math.  He just looks smart.  The others look like they need a shower.  Actually, I'm just basing what the Islamic looks like based on my own imagination.  Muslims go nuts if you draw him.  They should seriously get their priorities straight.  Like getting a job and giving their daughter' equal rights.  Not fucking cartoons.  Anyways, rock on Math freaks, it's your world and we are all just livin in it.

This is Dawes

When it's cold outside and Monday is eating away at your soul, this song could give you a lift. These guys are no Puff Daddy, but they can still make a helluva tune.  I also love the Cool Hand Luke parody in the video.  For about four years of my life I actually thought I was Cool Hand Luke, only to become bitterly dissapointed with the reality that I am not.

Wild Tsumani Video

You got to be one crazy ass mother to be video taping the ocean coming into your living room.  I would have literally running up a mountain until I got about 10,000 feet above sea level.  Drowning is one of my biggest fears.  It's really just suffocation by water and I am not into that.  I'll take a bullet to the face over having the ocean swallow me anyway. 

Aliens, Oh My!

I think it's time they let the cat out of the bag.  It's like everyone knows everyone in the NFL is on steroids, but the powers that be won't let the public know.  We all know their are motherfucking aliens out there fucking each other or reproducing in some way we don't even know about yet, but people in powerful positions don't want an informed public.  Aliens exist, bitches.  Deal with it.

Your Local Drunk Needs This

Everybody knows that guy who's been riding around a bike for the last fifteen years.  He cruises from packi to packi buying busch 40's with a bag full of quarters or a couple of wet dollar bills.  How the fuck does the money get wet?  I really think some things are better left unsaid.  You can usually spot these guys with their dirty red sox hat, jean jacket and they have attached a milk crate to their bike to carry things such as busch forties and empty busch forties.  So, in honor of the upcoming St. Patty's Day and the fact that your local drunk is no doubt irish, everyone should get one for a drunk down on his luck.  It's a better look than that milk crate.

Pacific Ocean Lands Knockout Punch



This is just visual evidence that Earth is fighting back.  Giant waves to the Far East's dome.  Shit has been so one-sided in human beings favore the last ten thousand years, that it was just bound to happen.  Humans are amazing, and capable of anything, but the fuckin Earth is a planet, and planets are known to do unimaginable things.  Like ice ages, gettin hit by asteroids, and giant storms that last a thousand years, all that shit happens on planets.  Now the fuckin waves are way too big and Clint Eastwood is makin movies about them, too.  We got a black president.  It's all happening.

Calhoun and Kemba

Move over A.I, Kemba Gets You PAID!!!

PS-  Nick Lachey singing the Big East anthem at the end of the game is the most puzzling thing I have ever seen on tv.  I watched the end of the Sopranos and was like, "Oh Shit, that was so puzzling."  This fucking song by Mr. 98 Degrees is more puzzling than if Tony lived or died.  Espn must be handing out money.

Look At The Normal Kid

People actually get paid to come up with this stuff.  Clearly nobody is black or yellow in this picture.  There is a brown kid and definitely atleast one normal kid too.  People got to get their shit together before they go plastering shit like this on billboards. 

UPDATE: Montreal Wants Chara In Jail

BBC-  Montreal police are investigating a violent ice hockey impact between Boston Bruin Zdeno Chara and Montreal Canadien Max Pacioretty.
Pacioretty was left with severe concussion and a cracked vertebra after Chara slammed him into a glass partition during Tuesday's match.
Quebec prosecutor Louis Dionne filed his request for an investigation after seeing the match on television.
It now must be determined if there are grounds for criminal prosecution.

A full on criminal investigation into Charas hit on that guy would be the best thing for hockey.  Chara is facing criminal charges in Montreal, looks like he can't make the trip to play in the Bell Centre.  This would only step up the wildest rivalry in all of North America.  Think about it.  Sox and Yanks, along with the Pats and New York teams, these rivalries are full of hatred.  At the end of the day we are all Americans, mostly of Irish, Italian, Jewish ethnicity.  There are a few others mixed in  We represent the Northeast and both fought for the Union.  The Montreal fans speak fucking French.  They live in another country.  Theres nothing worse than a french speaking foreigner.  This is the rivalry.  The fucking police are getting involved.  I hope they cuff Chara on the ice.  Then we beat them in Game 7.  Felger's head would literally explode.

PS-  I know Inspector Clousseu is French, but that's who I imagine the Montreal detective is searching for the clues to get Chara behind bars.

I'd Kill This Job

BBC-  Outburst-prone actor Charlie Sheen is reportedly seeking a social media intern to manage his Twitter account. But what does this new role involve?
Celebrities have embraced social media outlets like Facebook and Twitter, making it easy for fans to establish a connection with their favourite stars.
Regular updates give fans an inside look at a star's day-to-day activities with pictures, locational information and promotional materials.
But the busy and glamorous lives of many celebrities make it impossible for them to spend their time hunched over their computers, and some stars hire social media interns to help.
Some interns help so much that they do the writing for them. Many stars now use ghost writers who pen the 140-character messages in the celebrity's voice.
Alluding to two of Sheen's tweets, the job advert says the actor is looking for applicants that are "all about winning" and have "tiger blood" in their veins, according to the career site where the application form is posted.

I am willing to go toe to toe with Charlie Sheen.  I'll tweet my dick off, I'll make this motherfucker think he is Zeus before I'm all said and done.  Blow smoke up his ass until it is coming out of his ears.  All Charlie wants around him is people to tell him, "Yes, Charlie.  You are the magicman."  Nobody can bullshit better than me.  My whole life consists of me bullshitting people so  they here what they want and stop asking me questions.  The thing with me and Charlie is we are both guys who like to write checks.  It's tough to have cash on hand when you party all the fucking time, so BAM, cut a check, keep on fuckin partyin.  I'd fit right in.

Ginger Alert

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Look at that ginger rooting for the Terps.  Ruins the whole picture.



Bring Boxing Back

Look how amazing this picture of Ali and Frazier is from over forty years ago.  I gotta say, I like Ali's style here.  Really nice shirt.  I'd rock right now.  Nobody puts on a show like this anymore.  MMA and all that shit just isn't the same.  It's actually fairly fucking gay.  Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't step into a ring with anyone crazy enough to do it, but boxing is more of a sport.  All you gamblers out there, let's get together and write Don King a letter.  Will the next Mike Tyson please stand up?  It is time for boxing to come back to America.  No more Russian champs.

Break Ankles First, Ask Questions Later

Kemba Walker just made the Predator look like a overgrown terd trying to defend him.  I've never broke someone's ankles with a sick crossover.  I modeled my game more after the one and only Dennis Rodman.  I was the little white worm.  Rebounded the shit out of the basketball.  Never hit a game winning shot either.  And definitely never hit a game winning shot at Madison Square Garden on a Thursday afternoon.  If only we could all be so lucky as Kemba.

Weekend Music

I know it is only Thursday, but I am really already looking forward toward this weekend. Just gonna ghost walk through the next two days until about 6:00.  This is a good song, you might think its gay, but I think it is fresh as fuck.

It's Fitz and the Tantrums with Moneygrabber here for you on a cool and gray Thursday afternoon

Who Wants A Spiney Dick?

(CNN) -- You've read the headline, and it probably made you giggle. Go ahead. Get it out of your system. Then take a deep breath and consider how evolution affected a few specific body parts, and why.
Humans and chimpanzees share more than 97% of DNA, but there are some fairly obvious differences in appearance, behavior and intellect. Now, scientists are learning more than ever about what makes us uniquely human.
We know that humans have larger brains and, within the brain, a larger angular gyrus, a region associated with abstract concepts. Also, male chimpanzees have smaller penises than humans, and their penises have spines. Not like porcupine needles or anything, but small pointy projections on the surface that basically make the organ bumpy.

Anyone wanna spiney dick?  I know who wants you to have a spiney dick, the horny broad you happen to be fucking at the moment.  Bitches would be creaming their pants in record time if we all had a spiney dick.  Just maximizing pleasure for the bitches.  I personally, like my nice and smooth cock, it'll slide right up in ya.  I like smooth penis on vagina action, and I am here to thank evolution for giving me this glorious gift.  I don't want any bumps on my dick, even if they aren't red.

They Dont Call Him A HeadHunter For Nothing

(NECN) - Patriots safety Brandon Meriweather is accused of shooting two men during a fight at a house party. No one has been charged, and the Orange County Sheriff's Office says Meriweather is not a victim, suspect, nor witness in any case.

NECN's Erick Weber spoke with attorney John Morgan, who says his clients told him Meriweather fired at them at a party on February 27th.
"There's one where the bullet grazed his head," he said, "and the other client where the bullet went into his cheek and through his head, and so the second client has a bullet hole in his cheek and severe swelling in his head area and fractures in his face and some shattered bones."
The first report of Meriweather's alleged involvement comes nearly two weeks after the incident. Morgan said these reports only surfaced now because "my clients were really more concerned about their health. The shots were fired and all of a sudden they're at the hospital."
Both clients apparently went to high school with Meriweather.
"These clients that I'm representing I met for the first time this week," said Morgan. "Everything they've told me in our process is told to me through them."

Again, these are just accusations, but this is not the first time Meriweather has been caught up in a shooting case. Back in 2006, he was involved in a shooting while at the University of Miami. No charges were filed because Meriweather owned the gun legally, and it was determined he fired in self defense after a teammate was shot.

You can take the player out the U, but you can never take the U out the player.  Let's just face the facts here.  Brandon Meriweather is a dengenerate.  The fact that he has alluded jailtime is one of the all time greatest feats by a guy like him.  He is stompin, shootin, and spearin his way right into the record books.   Straight thuggin it out there for Bill Bellichick from the Safety position. 

If this is true and Meriweather shot a guy through a cheek and grazed another dudes head, that just proves my point of how lucky he is.  When you aim at two motherfuckers heads and kill zero of them, that's some type of statistical anomoly.  This guy has Lady Luck sittin right on his trigger finger.  Big Bang Clock leaves police empty handed once again.