Monta Ellis

Monta Ellis of the Golden State Warriors just spent more money on body art than I will make this entire year.  That is one detailed tree though.  The NBA is facing a pandemic of overly tattoed black men.  There are more bad tattoes on an NBA court than at bike week in Laconia, New Hampshire.  The only difference is the really shitty tattoes shine right through on those pasty biker chicks. 

My Morning Jacket Sound Like The Allman Brothers

So, this is the Allman Brothers, right?  There is no way the Allman Brothers didn't right this song.  That piano and guitar sound like it is coming from a Gainesville bar in 1973.  Nice work Jim James.

I Love You Guys

     I love everyone of you.  My life is literally worth nothing without the people in it.  Saying that, I wanna say a little something about the type of person I am.   On May 13th, this blog had made $74 American dollars.  I donno about you, but that is a shitload of beer money.  So, I didn't respond to the important e-mail within 30 days and Google took away my advertsing money.  Sorry, Kate.  I know you were a clicking soldier.  I suck at makin this blog legit, and I suck at making myself legit.  I can party harder than anyone reading though.  Where will that get me?  Fuckin nowhere. 

How about these Senior citizens just sucking up all the money in the budget with their Medicare???  Talk about a bunch of greedy old folks.  Hey, I'm sorry your 74 years old and everytime you piss your dick hole burns;  the new policy is that you have to deal with the pain, or committ suicide.

That last paragraph would be a joke, but it is what real Republicans believe.  I am not a partisan person.  That is the truth.  If you are 74, and your dickhole burns;  you are shit out of luck.   I long for simpler days and more political parties.  Hitler's Germany had 1 party.  Democratic America has 2.  Are we really all that much better????


PS-  That is Mikey and his boys getting on Barstool Sports.  Buncha pussies if you ask me.  Who wears a green Oakland Athletics hat???  Only pussies where stupid green hats.

Guys A DoucheBag

Jeff Green and Delonte West let this one slip through their fingertips.  That is not a figurative form of speech, my friend.  These two actually let the ball slip through their fingertips and right into Lebron Jame's egomaniacal head of his.  I thought I hated Kobe, but he doesn't even compare to the amount of disgust I feel for Lebron James.  The guy is a dirtbag.  There is not a normal person in the world who could look at him and say, "I'd smoke some weed with that guy, or have a couple beers." 

He is the worst kind of athlete in this country.  If D-Wade didn't break Rondo's arm after the foul and Danny Ainge didn't fall under the spell of the genie from Kazaam, this series would have been a different story.  I'm not even all that upset at any of the Celtics.  Rondo had one arm, Pierce, Allen, and Garnett are in their mid-30s and Perk is not even on the team anymore. 

I wish the NBA was like soccer and we could lease players out for about a month or so.  We could lease Pierce to the Bulls and not tell anyone until he comes out of the tunnel for Game 1 against the Heat.  Lebron can't beat Pierce when they have equal supporting casts.  Pierce is the man and his teammates were dropping passes like Terrell Owens out there.  Lebron is an overgrown baby who has been spoon fed everything his entire life, and I hope the real phenom eats him up next round.  That's right, I'm talking about Tom Thibodeau, the defensive mastermind of the past 3 Celtics teams.  Thibodeau will have Lebron making his trademark crying face more times Bin Laden prayed to Mecca in the past ten years. 

Go Bulls.  Fuck Lebron

Does anyone know this band besides me?

      I, Mikey, is to Radical Face as Kyle is to My Morning Jacket. I found this band just surfing the pandora radio. I've been listening to this band for about a week now. Just keeps getting better and better every time. The man behind the shaggy beard singing these beautiful lyrics is Benjamin Cooper. He wanted to create an album about memories and ghosts being left behind in old houses. Cooper classifies this album as a concept album. He says that people dont like to hear that an album is a "concept"  album but he finds that a concept album can unveal a persons true ideas.


      Alright here are a couple of his tracks which are my personal favorites. Listen to it through twice because you have to get used to the new sound then you'll fall in love, I'm telling ya. These two songs have pretty amazing videos, also. The "Doorway" track kindof reminds me of that movie "Lord of the Flies."
Enjoy

Welcome Home-Radical Face



Doorways-Radical Face

Homer Simpson and Shaqille O'Neal. The Greatest Tag Team Ever.

Homer Simpson is a legend.  He is right up there with Babe Ruth, John Henry, and Paul Bunyan.  At some point, it doesn't matter whether their story is fiction or non-fiction, they become a part of American mythology.  A man that is reminding me of Homer Simpson and their parallel paths to becoming obsolete is none other than Shaquille O'Neal.  He is that tall Irish guy who runs up and down the court like a cripple for the Boston Celtics.  Just hung on for a little too long, and one extra paycheck.

I believe that Homer has done the same thing.  Ya, he can come at you with a witty one liner or make you laugh when he is drunk, but their is a younger generation of cartoon characters running circles around him in the TV business.  Homer and Shaq are champions, but now they look like they belong playing in the YMCA summer league.  Lebron is like Peter Griffin and Kobe is like Stewie.  Just beating Homer and Shaq at their own game.  It is a sad realization if you ask me.

Homer and Shaq broke in together.  It was the early 90's, Clinton became the first rock n' roll president and here comes the two coolest bald headed characters that America has ever known.  Homer won an emmy, and Shaq won an emmy for Kazaam.  I'm pretty sure Shaq has been to outer space just like Homer.  These two rode all the way to the top together, making hit records and making everyone laugh along the way.  When Shaq finally does hang it up, I hope Homer does too.  It's gonna be worse than watching Muhhamed Ali fighting past his prime.  Homer and Shaq are legends, let's hope people remember them like that.

Who Is Funnier?

vs.

So, I have been fighting with this for a couple months now.  I put in the research and I studied hard.  I still do not know which is funnier.  Is Eric Cartman funnier than Peter Griffin?  Is Peter Griffin funnier than Eric Cartman?  The world may never know, but I gotta try and find out.   That is what life is all about, right.  Give it the ole' college try, which is funny because I did not try one lick in college, unless you count trying to beat Sonic or Cruis'n USA with one hand.   I put together 3 top clips of each and then it is up for the world and the internet to decide who is funnier.    Click to see the top 3 clips of each and make an educated decision.  And let's all be honest with each other here, nobody even comes close to the drunken genius that is Homer Simpson.  Man was way before his time, the epitome of what it means to be an American male.  This is really a debate for second place fame. 

Is This The Greatest Goalie Ever?

The man behind the iron mask right there is none other than Andy Tobin.  Kid is a beast on the street hockey scene.  Makes Tim Thomas look like a child out there.  This is quite possibly the greatest photo anyone has ever taken.  It really captured a moment.  You can almost smell the intensity. 

Anyways, Happy Mother's Day to all you mothers.  Too bad your kid ain't as good lookin as this goalie, but what can you do?